Straight to Hell by John LeFevre

Author:John LeFevre
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grove Atlantic
Published: 2015-06-18T22:01:49+00:00

The

Warren Buffett

of Shanghai

“Lights.” That’s what we say on the trading floor when our phone rings. And by phone, I mean dealerboard—a large electronic panel with communal and direct phone lines, a squawk box (the hoot), and a small TV screen. If I need to pick up a trader, syndicate, sales, or research line, or even broadcast myself to the entire trading floors of Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, London, and New York, it’s all right in front of me. There are so many phones ringing at all times on a trading floor that we generally have the ringer volumes set at barely audible levels. For the uninitiated, it can be easy to miss a call unless you are paying attention. I have my dealerboard programmed so that the lines that I care about will flash in green and the lines that I don’t care about will flash in red, hence the term “lights.”

Chapter One of Trading Floor 101 for interns and analysts details how to answer the phones and operate the dealerboard. I have seen trainees reduced to actual tears for not answering the phone fast enough, accidentally dropping a line, or listening in on a call and forgetting to use the mute button. For a generation of kids who grew up without a home phone, basic telephone etiquette is increasingly an issue.

“Are you fucking retarded? How the fuck can I trust you to sell a bond if you can’t even figure out how to answer the fucking phones?” I’ve said it many times. I’ve heard it many times. It’s been said to me once.

The drawback of dealerboards at this time was they didn’t have caller ID, so it was impossible for me to screen my calls.

“Hey, we’ve got a situation.” It’s Benny Lo, the head of the China coverage team, calling. “I’m hearing that is about to announce a deal away from us, mmm’kay? It’s likely Morgan Stanley as sole bookrunner on the deal.”

Missing a deal is not a very pleasant experience. You have to explain it to your boss and sometimes to his boss. And when you’re sitting in Hong Kong, you also have to explain it to the product (emerging markets credit) boss in New York. The only thing worse than missing a deal is missing a deal and having your boss see it hit the tape before you do. One of your clients is doing a deal and you don’t even fucking know about it. Fortunately, I am responsible for structuring, pricing, and selling the deals, so I don’t have to worry too much about being accountable for the direct relationship. By that I mean I still get yelled at, but at least I won’t get fired over it. That’s on the coverage banker’s head.

It’s hard to imagine a scenario much worse than this. Morgan Stanley, one of our main rivals, is about to announce a sole-bookrunner deal for the first-ever high-yield corporate bond to come out of China.

“We need to get in this fucking deal,” Benny whines.

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